I’m too tired to name this…

Something is not right. I did not sleep well last night and I chalked that up to going to bed hungry (I was keeping under my calorie limit) and a slight medication change. I woke up and started my workout but didn’t finish. I eventually moved to the couch and set an alarm for 30 minutes so I could get just a little extra sleep. I went about my usual morning routine, took the dog out, made a smoothie and about an hour after getting to work I started to feel not so great. I had an appointment I had to keep at 0930 but not long after that I threw in the towel. My stomach didn’t feel good, I thought it may have been from my workout a couple of days ago but this wasn’t a sore muscle pain this was a ‘unhappy intestines’ tingle. I came home and immediately placed myself on the couch. One way I can always tell that I’m really not feeling well (as opposed to being lazy), is that I don’t move and I don’t want to move and I don’t feel bad about it. If I’m being lazy I will have a list of things going through my mind the whole time until I get up and get it done. Not today. I laid on the couch for a few hours and didn’t want to get up or do anything, even when my fitbit would vibrate to passive-aggressively remind that I have not hit my hourly step count. I didn’t eat lunch (another tell-tale sign) but I did manage to nibble down a few cookies as it got closer to dinner time.

Here’s my conclusion: I may be getting a little bit of a cold due to changing seasons (hello fatigue) but I don’t think I’m terribly sick. I think, like always, I’m not taking in enough calories. I’ve seen this cycle play out several times in the last few months: I don’t eat great, get strict with my calories for a few days, start feeling ill with an upset stomach and light headedness, eat more (which means less healthy foods) for a couple of days, feel better and decide I need to get serious about my calories to lose weight. I’m by no means in a food danger zone, even when I’m watching my calories I take in between 1,700 and 2,100 calories depending on my fitness that day. I’m so very proud to have kept up with my calorie counting and for so long but I think I need to step back and focus on fitness more than calories. I think I need to not use the app for a while, just eat what feels normal, stick to my training and then maybe revisit in a month or so.

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