Do you wanna be happy?

Today I did something I rarely do. I genuinely listened to my body. I woke up okay and got in most of my workout but as the day went on I saw signs of hunger and fatigue in myself. My brain function was just not there, I was getting dizzy, couldn’t focus my eyes and just felt tired overall. I’ve done really good with my calories since Sunday but, as I’ve mentioned before, this is where ‘really good’ gets me, feeling like something is wrong. So I skipped the run which was probably for the best because we are in the middle of one last heat wave before fall arrives in Kansas. I also stuffed my face for dinner. I forgot to get something out of the freezer for dinner but, honestly, even if I did I probably wouldn’t have made it anyways. So I ordered in wings and cheese sticks and still kept it under 2,000 calories for the day, not too shabby! I’m going to have my behind in bed extra early tonight and I’m going to allow myself some sleep in time tomorrow since I did most of my workout today. I’m hoping tomorrow I will be back to my super awesome and healthy self!

Yesterday I posted my fundraiser on Facebook and worked so hard to manage my expectations. Mainly, I don’t want to be devastated if I didn’t raise any money. I mean, there’s so much happening with natural disasters and people have already given so much so I wouldn’t even be mad at them, just myself for trying (yep, more fodder for the next therapist). However, before I went to bed a friend from high school donated $10 and today another friend donated $25 and she even shared my post to her own page. I was so touched. I reached out to them to express my gratitude and I felt this huge, joyful…thing in my chest. I guess the word to describe it best is ‘connection’, to just, everything. To my friends and to the universe. I asked for money and money was received and I had genuine human connection with these ladies when I thanked them. I felt like a dead flower that was starting to blossom. I even wished an old boss ‘Happy Birthday’ which is something I hardly ever do on Social Media but then she thanked me and there it was, more connection. I feel like the icicles of isolation are starting to shake loose and I’m becoming human again.

Today I like(d):

1, That I could make the delivery guy happy with a nice tip,

2. That I’ve been seeing so many butterflies.

3. That I had no cavities during my dental check up!

4. That my co-workers and I had some downtime to just chat with each other.

5. Law of attraction!

6. That spell and grammar check just told me I have no writing errors today!


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