I am blessed with amazing people in my life that I call friends and family. They have given me strength and shown me what it is to value and respect yourself. I am beyond lucky to have them. Now, as someone who spends about 95% of her personal time alone, I struggle with finding a balance when I have these fantastic people around. I completely let myself off the leash and I lose almost all my hard-earned discipline. I had a friend drive in on Thursday and she just left this morning. She is one of my best friends but during her short stay we had pizza, wine, chocolate and a super carb heavy meal at olive garden. Luckily she’s a late sleeper so I was able to get a run in this morning, the 5k yesterday got rained out which didn’t make me feel any better about everything I was eating. I looked in the mirror last night and, knowing that 24 hours of bad eating and drinking wasn’t going to undo all my hard work, I didn’t like what I saw. After I ran this morning, I felt so much better. I think when I have other people around I just put all my own needs and good habits on hold to cater to them and that’s not good for anyone. I love my bestie and, at the same time, I’m glad she’s gone so I can focus on being healthy again. I never imagined that a day would come when I did not want to stuff my face but, today was that day. I just wanted to stay within my calories and I have done just that!
Okay, as I’m writing this out I feel like I need to take some personal responsibility. Yes, we went to Olive Garden but I didn’t have to eat the 4 bread sticks and I didn’t have to forgo the salad for a pasta dish but I did anyway. It was not my friends fault that I had a third piece of pizza. I made those choices myself because I was hungry in that moment, not thinking about the consequences. Maybe I need to work on my food discipline a little bit more…
Today I’m grateful for:
- My friend coming to see me!
- My friend leaving.
- Just being where I am in my life and being able to get here.